the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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