is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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