How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
