Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
