We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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