he wants to bone in the snuggie
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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