Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I am one with the molecules
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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