tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
