I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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