real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
