Do you still have your period?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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