im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
