He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
