She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
