It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
