the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
