they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
