did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The power of my boobs compel you
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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