This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
