Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
