Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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