Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
