normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
