omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
