this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
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