Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
