We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
