i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's official drugs can't kill me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
