Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
