just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
