I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
