Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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