He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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