My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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