So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
