She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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