Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
