yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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