You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
