Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
