worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
