I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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