oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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