can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
