he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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