u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
