Pregnant stripper...not hot.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
