i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
