I think my vagina is haunted
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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