nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
