Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
